Pauline Easby

Pauline Easby

Sunday, 8 July 2012

where's my head at?

I can't believe its been a week since I returned home from New Designers. I remember going there  six years ago when I first began my Part time marathon degree and leaving  with both a headache and heartache at the awe inspiring work and creativity within the building. I aspired to be like these students and hoped beyond belief that in six years time I too would be there at New Designers with my fellow students. AND I got there AND it was as daunting as it was the first time Only now I had nothing to aspire to, I couldnt re-do another six years, I was no longer an eternal student, I had made it to ND which in theory meant I was in the real world, which leaves me with a bit of a dilema. WHAT DO I DO NOW? Every time I went to ND I would walk away thinking how can I compete against the new emerging talent and competition year in year out,  but this time it was all the more real because I was up against them for real. How did it make me feel? invisible, unworthy, uncreative but also imensley sad as this was the finale to my passionate dreams. I would no longer be going to college, talking with my mates and lecturers and feeling part of something exciting or discussing how our ideas where developing or not. For me it was the end of an era, but I'm hoping its the start of a new one.

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